When ending a marriage, there are always feelings of anger, hurt, and hatred. This is especially true if you and your spouse argue a lot or if you believe the other party caused the divorce. These emotions are normal, but they can keep you from acting rational, particularly if you want to inflict pain on your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
The idea of punishing your spouse for his or her marital crimes seems like a great way to get even. The sad part is doing this through the court system can be very expensive. It is also likely to backfire. Note that the person you want to embarrass publicly is the same person that you will have to make plans with regarding your children’s welfare.
A Denver family law lawyer notes that the best thing you can do is to take the high road. This means taking into account the other party’s emotion, and working out solutions that will benefit not just you, but also your partner and the kids. It is always best to be adult and responsible enough for your actions and avoid creating conflict while resolving divorce issues.
Here are some ways to take the high road:
- Don’t give your ex a hard time when switching visitation nights or parenting schedules.
- Build a positive relationship as co-parent by openly sharing information about the kids.
- Have the courage to admit and apologize when you’re wrong.
- Treat your ex with respect (even if you think that he or she does not deserve it).
- Don’t fight back or take the bait when your spouse says something mean to you.
Learn to compromise
Therapists and divorce lawyers will tell you that people who can never let go of anger are likely to incur more pain and hatred later on. There is no doubt that it is difficult to be reasonable with a spouse that has hurt you, making you believe that compromising will never work. However, the truth is striving to communicate and compromise can make things better and make you feel good about yourself.